ugh

So, it's been a while since I've posted. Life is crazy fast. Getting ready for the kids' birthday's and for the holidays now. I can't believe that Brad will be 8 and Emily 6. I'm at some sort of cross roads in my life now, I don't know what to do with it all, what I want to be when I grow up. Wait, I think I am all grown up. yep, being married with kids and bills and all those fun things, I just thought that by now I would know more about what I want. We moved to CT a couple years ago, and this past April we moved back. I think that if I would have came out to visit that I may not have pushed moving back so hard. Don't get me wrong, I love being by family, I just miss it being me, my husband and kids. There was so much to do out in CT and so much that I wanted to do before we moved back. The kids loved it out there. Now I live with the thought of did I do the right thing, like all the time. I want to buy a home, but the market is so bad right now, but we are trying to take care of finances right now, 2 long distant moves in as many years hurts. As for my job, I don't want a new one but I am so fustrated. So for now, I will learn to love most of my job, think of the experiences that I am giving my kids, pay off debt, try to stay in touch with people that I know I shouldn't let stay strangers, and try to take life one day at a time. At 30, I am still wondering what I want out of life. I want to be happy and laugh, and raise wonderful kids, and spend more time with my husband, and have girls night out. Six and 8, time flys.